Safely In His Arms

I don't know where I'd rather be than with Tyler. I've been staying with him over this Summer, and honestly...I think that I am even more in love with him than I ever was. He is under this stupid assumption that I will grow tired of him. What the fuck is he thinking?

This Summer is going by with out a hitch. I'm surrounded with people I actually give a few damns about, and I'm with someone I love more than I can even love myself.

Where else should I be?

Lizz, darling. Are you still reading my blog? I am so sorry that I haven't read yours in such a long time. I will get on that as soon as I can.

Scheisse! I've been gone for a while!

I'm sorry for not being online to blog recently. I have been...out of town. My summer is off to a pleasing start. I get to see my boyfriend everyday when I wake up...I get treated like an actual person...and...I don't have to argue with my father about anything. And that's great. I've only been home twice. I'm at home right now, actually. For father's day. Anyway...I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

And Lizz, I'm going to read what I've missed, okay?

I love my friends...but when can I have some me time?

Gah! I am sorry, but my best friend, Amber, is just getting to be a bit...overbaring. I love her to death, but when is it enough? This weekend, I had Tyler over. And Amber kind of...invited herself over to stay. It was fine the first night. My mom and me didn't mind, nor did Tyler. But the second night? My mom said no. Did she listen? No. She stayed anyway.

I was also worked like a fucking dog, all weekend. My mom laid on the couch and directed me to clean this and clean that. I couldn't even sit down for more than FIVE MINUTES WITH MY BOYFRIEND! Once I had, she made me jump up and clean something else. And when I snapped at Amber, she turned to Tyler and said "Well DAMN!" Tyler just looked at her and said, "Don't you see it? She's being worked, she can't even sit down!"

Anyway...saw Splice with Tyler and our other friend, who goes by Chocka. It. Was. AWESOME! Hands down, the best movie I've seen since Tim Buton's Alice and Wonderland.

FREIHEIT! - FREEDOM!

In a few minutes, I will be free for the Summer. YAY! I can't wait. Right now, I am listening to Eminem, (Don't shoot me, he rocks) and waiting for lunch. I'm fucking hungry! I don't know what I'm going to do once it's all over. The last time I got really excited about the end of school, I got searched for DRUGS!

I could explain...but I don't want to. :-D

DER LETZTE TAG!!!

I am proud to say that I am sitting in my last class of the year! Second Block, Learning Strategies. In about an hour, I will be FREEEE! I want to get out of here so bad! You know? I can almost taste the freedom!

My summer seems to be all planned out. Tyler's house the whole way, I guess. :-D I feel like the luckiest little bitch alive!

Gasping...

Have you ever ran a mile, and be out of breath at the end of it. Like, no matter how hard you try to breathe, your lungs won't accept air? I feel like that every fucking day of my life. I don't know what to do about this fucking life. I hate how I have to be. I want to break free, and if I do...maybe I can stop gasping for air.

What the fuck can I do?


By the way, I don't know when I can post again. I might try on Friday. School's out then! Yay.

Lizzie, are you doing okay?

Everyone keeps on fucking asking me that same goddamn question. I hate how I have to repeat myself, everyday. I don't understand why people want me to be so fucking happy. I fucking hate how I can't pull a fucking sad face every now and a-fucking-gain. I'm sick of masking who I am for the sake of others. I want to be who I am, and not the image that everyone else wants. I am not who they think I am. I am the one who can turn like a fucking Pitt Bull in one second's notice. I fucking hate how I have to lie to every-fucking-body around. I'm fucking tired of wearing the stupid clothes that are given to me.

I want to be who I am.

I don't know who that is right now, but I am looking to find out.