I've been thinking a lot lately. About myself. I've been wondering where I am going, where I'm headed in this disaster of a life that I've been thrown into, head first. My dad is pulling me one way, and my friends are pulling me the other way, and my heart doesn't know which way to go.
My dad has this vision of me. A normal little girl, who wears pink and preppy, a girl who uses English, and a girl who is obedient to him. But I can't do that! I can't fit his image, I have never wanted to, and I never will. I just can't do it. I love the way I am, and I intend on leaving him as soon as I can. Once I have finished High School, I'm gone. I just hope he comes to his senses before I board that plane. Because if he hasn't, and I get on that plane, I'm never looking back. He won't have me in his life to disappoint him any longer.
My friends love me the way I am, or at least I hope they do. But, I have no problem detaching myself from them at any point. It sucks though. I actually attached feelings to some of these people. I hate it when I do that stupid shit. It makes leaving so much more difficult. And it makes staying so much easier, even if you don't want to stay.
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That is kind of how my mom is. She has an outline of how I should act, and I don't fit into it. (Although, my mom is slowly excepting this...)
ReplyDeleteJust because you leave, doesn't mean you won't see them again. Its not like they could never board a plane to Germany to go see you. Or you could meet in various locations around the world. (: